The Concrete Jungle

It's gonna be 2 months with this coming week, and still feels like a dream sometimes and like a nightmare from time to time, this concrete jungle perhaps is making me the person that I don't really like, but in the other happy I'm happy to be back home where I suppose I belong.
So far the trip back into the civilization has been tiring with tons of feelings but when finally I made it, seems just thing of the past.
Starting a new life is kind of hard when you had a life,meeting up old good friends has been such a good support to handle things around, and I do value every and each one of them to give a lil bit of their busy schedule just to say at least hello.
Family ... they are such a blessing without them I guess i can be lost in middle of nowhere ... thank to the Lord for that.
Work, is another blessing, if couldnt be for God's mercy i guess I would end up in somewhere i wouldn't like but until now everything has been working out just in the way that should be.
But true is this concrete jungle is driving me nuts!!!! I do love it, but my temper doesn't help at all, hopefully will be adjusting totally until end of the year.
So that's it for now...
hope can find mroe time to update more .. well ..
At least need to find better things to do around here than just be workholic
:)

Hate when I'm falling for you

Leaving and you can't understand that the best of my life is here, with people that I love the most ....
Almost said no to them but is better say no to you ...
Because I hate the feeling of depending on someone like you, hate to have feelings ....
And finally free of you!!! Got my way again, you shouldn't try to govern my life that is the way you loose me ... And I don't care because will be starting a new life.


- By Delia from BlogPress

Almost there (Enough Time)

Today is one of that days with 24 hrs ... and you wish it can have 100HRS!!! so I can be able to finish all and well ...there are just few days left, but time is flying ... is almost weekend ... not the last one yet but still ... have tons tons tons of things to do ... think and finish.
August is just in the next corner and ... in that corner is my ticket to Home ..
I'm trying to be happy ... and hiding my sadness ...kind of difficult .. well today i'm gonna ride the bus again .. and go to no where ... so i can get lost again and enjoy my beautiful Taichung ... and no more traditional food .. my stomach is so sensible :P damn!!!! the excitement is too strong ...
Let's start the last days of Taiwanland!!!!

and Here comes "LOVE" again ... >

Aren't we tired to play the same game???
Aren't we over the same "love" thing???
thought it was over and finally found my path to REAL life .. but seems like this new path is playing up again with me and my feelings, so how i'm supposed to deal with it now???
As far as I know in my knowledge of love .. "I SUCK" .. yes I know, how handle relationships is not one of my strongest points, I can be good listener, I can be good care taker, I can have good and pure feelings .. but "LOVE" just to think about it again, makes me sick ... do not expect me to wait here for you to come to me .. because is like wasting my time, and after a long process of painful maturity , and I just got to put back together my broken heart ... so don't expect me to trow it all again and pass trough the same thing ...I know, sounds selfish but is clear, I'm not up to playing up again, I do friendship but "LOVE" if you want it .. you've gotta to do a lot more than just being nicer to me .... you've gotta "prove it" ..
You've gotta understand .. when I fall in love, is just unexpected, is something that i can't control myself to, and then suddenly all comes to make sense, and then .. again .. i give all for the loved one .. and i just wanna make it sure is real and not just dream, and the ... the end never finds its own way, is like the time just stops, and i can't stop smiling, so if you wanna make me pass trough same ... if you really wanna make me fall in love with you ... do more than .... cuz ... is hard .. this pathway is hard for me ... and not willing to get hurt again ...

"LOVE" involves TWO .. but this time ..need to see your side

OVERWHELMED!!!

So many decisions to take, so many stuff to finish up, and there is no time, is like running against the time or just like trying to have 36hrs in one day , but can't afford to "freak out" or just "drive nuts" ..
Feel helpless about this feeling, is like the end of a life ... and starting a new one , seems so soon for me, but it might be the time .. I started the countdown .. yeaahhh here we go .. I said it .."Starting the countdown" the clock is running and there are just few days left before I'm gonna get to Bolivian land, for one hand excitement, for the other one confused and feeling sadness ... can't believe this dream is gonna end, but here we go ... few days left ... and lot of different emotions. Let's deal with it and keep looking forwards ^_^

Is not the end of the world , Is the beginning of a NEW CHALLENGE

Sometimes we don't know how to deal with "failure", sometimes we just blamed it on someone else, sometimes in our way to feel stronger than others we just act kind of jerk and show our uptown attitude to others, but I've been in same position so many times that I think I learned how to deal with my "Failure Crisis", I do say a couple of really mean and bad words and then I look at myself and try to find out my problem and why didn't success , once i find where was the problem so I come up with a couple of solutions and trace one more time the new goal, and the requirements and sacrifices that is gonna take to make it work, so I might have to stop GOOGLE ING!!!! even now and then, so might have to stop certain social network account, and for sure I will have block so many good webpages ... but the worst turning off my mobile and the most painful part .. stop hanging out with my friends .. but is for a good cause ..
Let's do it ..

Love .. under my point of view

I've been asked what is Love for me?
Actually couldn't find a real answer but I did found some examples
and later on I found what is Love for me
Is being Free, is being honest with each other, is caring about each others feelings
Is not about an endless pampering, is not about being in a honey moon forever
IS being there no matter what, is understanding , is being supportive
Love is not selfish, is giving, Love is not about how i feel is about how my partner feels, Love is not just my comfort is about my partner's comfort
I've learned that loving a person is not about having it with me, is about setting free that person.
I've learned that love is forever in certain point it might change but is still love
I've learned is not about how much time i spend with my partner is about how "much" i can understand him
Is not about being around him 24hrs a day is seeing him once in a while and make the most of it
Is not about sticking to him forever, is giving him his own space to grow .. giving myself a break of him
Is not about being right now with him, is about a long time committed relationship
Love is kind of difficult to explain but when you feel it ... you know is for real.