Hold on for a minute!!!!

I've been rushing for long time and trying just to full fill my dreams, and becoming a kind of robot person, without thinking,  without feelings, without anything, and one day i just stop all my life, yes , i decide to sit and make kind of reflexion, because suddenly i realize something is missing, something is wrong, what is it???, my life was becoming time wasted, all what i did is just nothing comparing with all what i left behind, and i ask myself if i'm happy with all around me, NO, I'm not happy at all.

All what i had one day is missing, my family, i just have a simple picture of my family, and in my memories is difficult for me remember their faces, because also they told me that they change too much, but cannot forget what they feel for me, that day i remember I was at home, Mama was scolding me just to make me wake up at 6 AM, and Papa was shouting my name, i remember how i used to fight with my Brother, and how difficult was to live with Mama everyday with up and downs in her difficult mood, but as all Mothers lovely taking care of me always, i used to play whit Father almost everyday, good memories, when just got crazy and begging to sing and dance  or simple me sitting watching TV, i really forget how does it feel watch TV!!!!, i used to arrive late home and Mama was always there waiting with my Lunch-Dinner because i couldn't stop for lunch at home , and it felt so good just to lye down my head in my old pillow ... and be wrapped by my parents just to have good sleep and enjoy nighttime  like a baby , i think in every word is falling more than one tear, yes tears, because all the love that i feel for my Family is  too much that my heart is not enough to contain it, and has to fall down in tears.

I miss to be just me, shy and scared, I miss to be crazy and happy at home, I miss to get anger easily, I miss to be.... , like everything every day is a new change in life.

I would like to go back home, and just be there, but i know for sure i will also miss this new life, so ZHEMEBAN!!! (what to do in chinese) can i have both of them together???? i guess as my father used to advice me, when i will grow old and old ... i will realize one day that i'm taking my own decisions, and it's in me the way to live my life, so i think for minute have to old on my busy life, and care for people like my family, and well just share with them like my new life, be happy and enjoy everyday, and if the storm and dark moments come, just be  a support in my family.

Few months more I will take a break and really promise I wanna enjoy with my family , If you read this message, please just pray for me so i can make it home soon.

The Little Girl in TW