DEADLINE coming to town!!!!!

Anxious, Nervous, Freaking out, plus MOODY!!!!
Who can deal with me????
I do find inspiration to write this, but can't focus in my Thesis writing!!!!
Have many thoughts to write, have many stuff to focus on, hopefully sooner or later will find the inspiration that I need.
Actually lately I've been praying so often, more than usual I must say, ok Let's admitted I'm not a good christian and I do pray not quite often but somehow lately since I've realized when I'm "on my knees" is like a miracle everything is possible, well let's say getting better, sometimes it takes me one nice song to find inspiration, sometimes it takes me a relaxing place, but now that don't have the time to find my way to be in mood of writing ... I think will just force myself to do it!!! ... and my pray is that, God no matter what just maintain me focus, countdown will start soon ... all pressure is already on me .. and can't speak out ... cuz this is it!!!! ..
This is it!!! .. Deadline is this weekend ... and after it ... looking forward to begin the countdown ...

Straight from Heaven ...

Many times in my life I feel depress or just can't hold my tears and just feel like driving nuts and screaming and yelling at the wall, so then I find myself all alone without friends to whom talk about my problems, even thought have a lot of them, but I've never realized that I'm that important for them, after yesterday breakdown ...God send me someone really special, someone straight from heaven that came to earth to tell me You are PRECIOUS and whatever it happens to you is a big deal for everyone else, never felt so important and special in my life, I guess many people already told me that, but I've just realized yesterday, don't know if it's because that person knows me the way i can understand or he just for the first time in my life, he left everything else just to tell me "you are precious", today I woke up so thankful for the life of this person.
Thank you God, to send me one of your angels to remind me how important I am for you.

I'm sure gonna have more breakdowns in future (MOODY SEASON) but I know "I'm precious" and whatever it happens to me it matters to you.

Feeling so blessed.

How do you describe the feeling???

For many years I've been struggling with LOVE?/?
what is it?? where is it??? and why cannot get it???
But in all these past years I also been listening about Love,
my girl friends , my guy friends ... and most of my relatives
but why cannot deal with it??
well most of them used to tell me about the amazing thing to be in couple
or about being in love and living with the excitement of having someone with whom share
until certain point i got kind of depress because I thought was worthy I thought is something that will fill my inside ..
Anyhow I manage to survive without that fairytale that most of people told me
and slowly slowly realized that i've been wrong and mistaken trying to find something
that is inside me, LOVE is here , I realized that I have to fall in love with myself so i can feel it, and realized that the fairytale it might be true but is because you learn to live for yourself, I learn that being confident about myself and doing what i like the most makes me happy, and that is when i realized ... Love for many people is sharing, I share everyday with people called friends, Love is someone that take cares of you, I learn how to take care of myself, Love is giving .. everyday I give something to my people, but overall whatever I do , it makes me happy ...
I know sooner or later will find someone that will feel same way I do, maybe like my friend told me is the cycle of life you need someone in your life, yes maybe, i can't agree too much with that affirmation, but I can say, right now in this stage of my life when I feel happy whatever i do I can't find myself with someone else, but maybe in future will happen so ...
The feeling of love ... begins on you ... and the rest will come later ..
that is the feeling ...
that's how it works at least for me ..